#1 Surround Yourself with the Right People
Be around the right people. When you are around people who are negative and always pessimistic, sooner or later their energy will pull you down as well.
When you are around positive people, sooner or later their energy will rub off on you as well and you will become much more positive with your life also. If you can’t meet super positive and successful people in real life, follow them on Facebook or Twitter.
If they have a Youtube channel, consume all their videos. If they have a Blog, read it religiously. The bottom line is, in the age of the internet, you have no excuses.
#2 Focus on Your Strengths
When you focus on your weaknesses all the time, your self esteem is bound to be very low. The reason is that if you only focus on your weaknesses, soon you will be convinced that you are good at nothing. But the truth is there is always one thing or a group of few things that we are all immensely talented at.
As I usually say, the root of low self esteem is when people focus on all the things they suck at, when you figure out the one thing you are amazing at, and there is always that one thing, you will realize how blessed you are, there is no one like you.
#3 Use Affirmations
Affirmations basically mean repeating positive statements to yourself over and over again to the point that you start believing them. Affirmations program your subconscious mind with extreme confidence about your ability to do something.
The belief that you can do something wins you half the battle as compared to others who doubt they can’t do anything because only the people who believe they can do something, put in the effort to make it a reality.
Muhammad Ali said, “It is the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief and when that belief becomes a conviction, things begin to happen!”
#4 Understand the Concept of Subjective Reality and Be a Hero
The concept of a subjective reality is a bit hard to understand but it is one of the most revolutionary strategies you can use to build confidence. The basic idea behind subjective reality is that you are the centre of the universe that your consciousness creates for you, and in many ways, your life is like a movie where you are the hero.
A hero faces obstacles in his or her movie but they are still a hero. A hero faces numerous villains in a movie but at the end of the day they are still the most important person in the plot.
This is one of the most powerful cognitive strategies you can use to build confidence. You can learn more about it here: An Amazing Psychological Tactic For Super Confidence
#5 Groom Yourself Properly
Start paying attention to the way you carry yourself. It will work wonders on your self confidence. Even if you are blessed with Greek God looks, if you are unkempt you won’t be liked by people and that will affect your self esteem.
Take a look at yourself and see if there is something you can change with regards to your appearance. If you are a man, you can experiment with your hairstyle and also see whether a beard suits you or not.
If you are a woman, you have many other options to experiment with your looks. Different people like different looks and frankly fashion trends do change with time. So just experiment and find what works best for you. Once you do, stick to it, until you can find something better.
#6 Dress Well
Again, this changes depending on the occasion and fashion trends regarding dressing change with time as well. Always make sure you are dressed for the occasion and wear clothes that fit you well.
As I said, you can be a millionaire or a potential Greek God in terms of looks, and yet many people will judge you harshly if you look unkempt and are dressed like a bum.
#7 Start Public Speaking
Public speaking is said to be one of the biggest fears of many people. Many people are relatively comfortable if they were asked to speak to the same people one on one, however for some reason, put the person on stage and they begin to feel they are naked!
However, if there is one activity that will desensitise you to the fear of what people think about you the quickest, it is public speaking.
Losing that fear will make you super confident! Read about how you can learn how to speak better in public here – How To Appear Confident While Public Speaking (Even If You are Nervous!)
You can also try Genlish to learn spoken English on phone right from your home.
#8 Talk To People You Do Not Know
Strike up a conversation with people you do not know, whether it is in public transit or at a networking event or in any other social situation.
This will help you get past of fear of approaching new people and building your network which is one of the key elements of achieving success of any kind. Of course, you should not come off as overly pushy or a creep. If someone is avoiding you, you should respect their boundaries.
#9 Prepare Hard
The best way to gain confidence is through preparation. The more you prepare, the more equipped you are to deal with a particular situation.
The people who are most confident whilst doing something are those who have prepared hard for something to the point that it feels like a fairly easy routine task for them. Prepare for something so well that doing it becomes a piece of cake.
#10 Never Compromise on Self Respect
One of the main reasons that people go through having a very low self esteem about themselves is because they allow their self respect to be trampled upon by others at every step.
Whether it is always compromising upon what they want or allowing themselves to be exploited or taken advantage of, if you compromise on self respect, there is no way you are ever going to be happy.
This is true for anyone regardless of whether they are treated disrespectfully by their spouse or by their boss. This is also true for people who maybe very rich and super successful in the eyes of the world but allow their self worth to be trampled upon by someone else all the time. If you want to be confident, stop compromising on self respect.
#11 Workout and get fit
One of the best ways to feel confident to get fit is by starting to workout. If you are underweight, gain weight. A fit body is the first thing you should strive to achieve to improve your looks.
I know losing weight made a huge difference in my life. Whether it is a personal or a professional environment, people often perceive you favorably if you are fitter.
When you workout the body releases certain chemicals that make you feel happier and more confident. Slowly over time when the results of the workout begin to show on your body, you become even more confident. Working out is the number one natural way to slow down ageing, try it!
#12 Have the right diet
Along with working out, if there is one thing that can have tremendous effect on your mood, it is your diet. When you eat the wrong foods, the brain produces chemicals that make you lazy and depressed.
When you eat the right diet, it makes you more confident and alert. Adopt a balanced diet of protein, carbohydrates and fat for optimum nutrition. Eat clean and avoid eating too much sugar or fat and you will realize your mood will become much more stable.
Once your mood becomes stable and your body improves because of your better diet, your confidence levels will begin to improve vastly as well.
#13 Adopt Right Body Posture – Using Power Postures
Your posture plays a tremendous role in the kind of confidence you have. Normally, people who are depressed tend to look down a lot and slouch a lot and people who are confident and happy tend to walk with a straight back and with their head held high; however, the reverse is true as well!
The way you sit or stand can actually influence your confidence levels directly, it’s not always the other way round! According to a research done by Amy Cuddy from Harvard, people who adopted something known as a “power posture” reported feeling better and much more confident even if they were feeling low to begin with. Learn about power postures in the Public Speaking article linked on point 7.
#14 Do What You Fear
Avoiding what you fear makes you retreat further and further to the point that you often begin to avoid even the things you did not fear earlier, if they are somehow linked with the thing that you fear.
This is what gradually leads to the development of phobias and makes a person lose their belief in the ability to do something. On the other hand, when you do what you fear over and over again, not only does it desensitises you to the fear itself, it also gives you the confidence and belief to tackle anything else in the world that you want to do!
#15 Build Confidence Through Competence
One of the best ways to build confidence is through competence. You cannot learn how to swim by mere affirmations or power postures alone. There are many things in life that need to be developed as a skill.
You develop skill through practice and by becoming better and better at something. You don’t learn how to swim by jumping into the ocean with no one around you.
You become confident by doing things one step at a time, first by learning to swim in a pool under the guidance of an expert trainer, before you progress to deeper depths and eventually progress to swimming in lakes and rivers and finally the ocean.
You just built your confidence through competence! When it comes to becoming confident at a skill, the number one way to become so is through sheer competence.
#16 Stay Productive
The more you can stay productive, the less time you have to think and whine about things. As they say, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you do not do much or stay idle, you are likely to fall into a destructive pattern.
Or you may feel depressed about things after a while. If you stay productive, you keep your mind occupied and you just don’t have the time to let the negativity sink in.
Furthermore, staying productive gives you the confidence that you are doing something worthwhile in your life, it’s just a matter of time before you start reaping the rewards.
#17 Keep yourself Organized
Many people do just as well whilst being disorganized but I have found that just by organizing something as simple as the place I work in makes me much more confident, because it gives a sense of order in my surroundings instead of everything being totally chaotic and out of control.
That sense of control makes a lot of people feel better. Furthermore, any sort of success requires organized systems that repeat what has proven to work in a faster and more efficient way. The more you can keep your life organized, the more likely you are to adopt systems that will improve and accelerate your work productivity as well.
Also read – Make English Learning Interesting
#18 Do something that you have been delaying forever
Continuing to procrastinate on something is similar to avoiding what you fear. You procrastinate because you feel lazy or are overwhelmed by the task at hand. Either way, you doubt your ability to get the task done immediately, which is why you keep procrastinating on it.
Continuing to procrastinate only makes the task appear more and more difficult and complex in your mind even if it wasn’t that complex to begin with. Make a decision and do the task and get it out of the way.
In fact get things out of the way as quickly as you can on a regular basis. Your confidence and your belief in your ability to tackle any obstacle will soar!
#19 Become Knowledgeable
People fear what they don’t understand. People procrastinate when they don’t understand something. They doubt their own ability to do something when they don’t understand it.
On the other hand, some people might take decisions that are too quick and take blind and foolish risks when they don’t understand something as well.
Also read – Learn English on Phone via Fun Way
When you educate yourself and become knowledgeable about something you are contemplating about, you become much more sure and confident of your decisions in life.
#20 Be Grateful
One of the biggest reasons why people are always complaining and unhappy with their lives is because they are not grateful for what they have.
If you are someone who has a loving spouse and are craving the wealth of your neighbour, that neighbour may be craving having a loving spouse while their wealth means nothing to them.
If you are someone who is jealous of someone’s athletic abilities or looks, they might be jealous of your brains or other skills.
The truth is that no one in the world is better than one or the other in all aspects. Everyone is a master in something and a rookie in another. Everyone has a few things others might crave and might never have. Focus and appreciate those things.
Shift your perspective and start appreciating things you have instead of crying over what you don’t! You will realise how lucky you are.